This guy PMed me from DDR Freak [while I was posting on the SoCal boards] and asked me for my screen name. He e-mailed me his, so I decided to just say "hi" and/or make a new friend, right? I realised that he was proper in typing [with proper capitilization, punctuation, etc] which is something I usually do to be serious/piss someone off/give the message that [i]I[/i] was pissed off, not when I'm casually talking. I don't know, he just started to piss me off.

I am NOT pangit: hello... this is Fiend from DDR Freak

Auto response from Xenostalgia: Even if I was still here I wouldn't care. :-) -AFK or Wandered off.-

I am NOT pangit: Just wanted to say "hi".... later.
Xenostalgia: Oh HEy.
Xenostalgia: The cute girl. ^)^
Xenostalgia: ^_^
I am NOT pangit: lol
I am NOT pangit: cute girl?
I am NOT pangit: *runs away*
Xenostalgia: Yeah you are cute.
Xenostalgia: ::Gives chase!::
I am NOT pangit: ahhhhh
I am NOT pangit: x_o;
Xenostalgia: I live near Magic Mountain
I am NOT pangit: I live in norcal
I am NOT pangit: I was just visiting SoCal
Xenostalgia: When?
I am NOT pangit: last winter break
I am NOT pangit: i might go there for spring break
I am NOT pangit: i have a lot of family that live there
Xenostalgia: Aah ok.
Xenostalgia: Lancaster?
I am NOT pangit: Palmdale
I am NOT pangit: and I have some in Westlake
Xenostalgia: I used to live in Palmdale.
I am NOT pangit: cool
I am NOT pangit: do you live in lancaster now?
Xenostalgia: No, Santa Clarita.
I am NOT pangit: I see.
Xenostalgia: About 40 min south of it.
I am NOT pangit: Wasn't the city in the movie The Lost Boys called Santa Clarita?
I am NOT pangit: But they filmed it in Santa Cruz...
Xenostalgia: Never seen it.
I am NOT pangit: Heh I see.
Xenostalgia: Ever seen Dude wheres My Car?
I am NOT pangit: Nah.
Xenostalgia: :\
Xenostalgia: Humor me.
I am NOT pangit: Humor you?
Xenostalgia: "Yes I have, its my favorite movie!'
I am NOT pangit: ô_o
Xenostalgia: SAY IT >E!!!!!!!!
I am NOT pangit: No!
Xenostalgia: >E Say it.
Xenostalgia: Cmon
Xenostalgia: Humor me.
I am NOT pangit: No, screw you.
I am NOT pangit: T_T;
Xenostalgia: o.o You are naturally unequipped to do such.
I am NOT pangit: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
I am NOT pangit: Are you implying that I don't have a sense of humor?
Xenostalgia: I'm implying you dont have a dick to screw me with O.o;;
I am NOT pangit: No shit I have a dick.
I am NOT pangit: I'm a girl, moron.
Xenostalgia: Lol.
Xenostalgia: You have a dick?
Xenostalgia: O.o;;;;;;;;;;
Xenostalgia: Reread what the joke was.
I am NOT pangit: No, because it wasn't even funny.
Xenostalgia: Bleh.
Xenostalgia: My friend thought it was.
I am NOT pangit: Interesting.

Ugh. Maybe I should chill a bit. *cringe* I'm just irritated as hell right now.

CrazyAss Chocobo: WHOA!!!
I am NOT pangit: ?
CrazyAss Chocobo: look at your icon
I am NOT pangit: umm
CrazyAss Chocobo: O_O;
I am NOT pangit: hold on
CrazyAss Chocobo: lol
CrazyAss Chocobo: k
I am NOT pangit: lol
I am NOT pangit: what about it?
I am NOT pangit: o_O;
CrazyAss Chocobo: its cool
CrazyAss Chocobo: its just.
CrazyAss Chocobo: whoa
CrazyAss Chocobo: hehe
I am NOT pangit: hehe thanks
blah blah blah

CrazyAss Chocobo: wait, before I forget
CrazyAss Chocobo: is that picture of you?
I am NOT pangit: yeah
I am NOT pangit: hahahahaha
I am NOT pangit: i have the full thing right here
I am NOT pangit: hold on, let me get it
CrazyAss Chocobo: omg...
I am NOT pangit: Image 1
CrazyAss Chocobo: you look like a korean chick
I am NOT pangit: Image 2
CrazyAss Chocobo: for reals
I am NOT pangit: those are sticky pics that my friend and i took
I am NOT pangit: :P
CrazyAss Chocobo: I thought that was a Korean singer
I am NOT pangit: LOL
CrazyAss Chocobo: I was like... "Whos that?"

This is my buddy icon by the way:



I don't think I look like a Korean girl.. o_O;

Flashback from this past Winter Break. [During my visit down in SoCal]

Random person: "What's your nickname on the boards?"
Me: Fiend.
"Feet?"
Me: No, Fiend.
Random person: "Is that the Chinese word for feet?"
Me: *walks away in a highly disturbed and discontented manner*

What the shit? Some idiot IMed me and said,

Aum Shimrikyo: gingivitus is just another way to say that your're a dirty little fuck

---

?! Fucking ignorant little peice of shit coward. First of all, no. No no no no no. I've only had two real boyfriends, and the longest relationship that I had only lasted a little over a month! Hell mother fucking no do I even flirt with guys as much as almost any other girl around me, I am NOT the type of person who will say yes to just ANYONE [i.e. being asked out], I'M AM A MOTHER FUCKING VIRGIN IN MORE WAYS THAN MOTHER FUCKING ONE AND THE THOUGHT OF ORAL SEX MOTHER FUCKING SICKENS ME, I never drink, I never go to parties [the stupid highschool ones where people go to get high and wasted], I've never even tried a single cigarette or marijuana joint. I don't go to raves, I don't take E or Speed or whatever idiots take, I DON'T EVEN DRINK COFFEE.

Mother shit fucker little ass wipe dumb shit. I was downstairs in my mom's car getting her medicine from her glove compartment when I got back and checked my messages when I saw that. Stupid coward signed off before I could IM his god-forsaken ass. Fuck him. He didn't even reveal his real identity, that gutless cur of an idiotic caitiff.

*ahem* I now have 13 people on my "Idiots" list. And I just recently started that list, too. Heh.

Rant from DDR Freak.

Post from Jiffy:

all the flips around here are thugs.

My Response:

GAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. I know what you mean. *sigh* All of the full-Filipinos where I live [Santa Cruz] are soooo shamefully thug-ish that it sickens me. Even the girls. It's kind of funny seeing a girl dress in boxer shorts, pants that are 100 times their natural size, and flashing huge brands that say, "I payed 983479573945 dollars just for one shirt. Ooh this brand is so fab-o-listic that I have to buy and wear 'rags' to wear on my head and expensive white shoes with matching shoelaces so I could be the shiznit. y0 mutha fucka" such as "Ecko", or for girls, "J-Lo".

Some of them try to act all ghetto, forgetting it's real meaning. Being ghetto means having to live from paycheck to paycheck, inside a fourth-class neighborhood, thriving to keep each family alive with one meal a day. Egotistical, self centered, status seeking, posers who try to build a fake image out of their already picture perfect life and immersing themselves in it, dressing, talking, and walking the 'thugg life'. They all irritate the s[b][/b]hit outta me.

---

PRAISE THE LORD, I AM SO RIGHT. [Excuse my conceit, but I am right. =)]

......

Yesterday, Isaac was sending me pictures through AIM, right? I happened to glance at the size of one of them [the one he was currently sending] and it was 666KB. I got really scared.... because something bad ALWAYS happens whenever I see '666' on anything. About a week or so before my mom and brother got in a car accident last Christmas break, something made me look at my mom's car milage [the smaller number.. the one that you can reset anytime]. I NEVER look at her car milage thing, because I really don't care. But I saw it.. it said 666. At the time, I thought it was kind of odd, but paid little attention to it. I realized the irony like a month after my mom's accident. Then, there was my so-called Hell Week. Holy shit. It was the scariest week of my life. Everywhere... I saw 666. Game combos [RPG, DDR], numerous math problems, school work, etc. That was the same week that both my friend and her sister died in a car accident, and the week that a really close friend of my family was found dead on his livingroom floor.

What does this have to do with me seeing 666 this time? My mom got home around 6, right? I thought everything was fine, blah blah blah.. so after I helped her unpack, she started cooking. She called me downstairs, I got some soup, went upstairs, and started eating. [my bowl is still over half full... it even hurts when I eat soup. ;_;] My mom went upstairs, looked like she was in pain. I asked, "Uhh... are you okay?"

She had a small, yet very painful heart attack. God. I asked her if she wanted to go to the hospital, but she said it was okay. I then helped her get lie down on the bed, and she described her symptoms: Sharp chest pains, numbness from chest all the way down to her left arm, pain pain pain. Sounds like the symptoms of a heart attack? I got really worried, and I started massaging her chest and left arm repeatedly with Vicks vapor rub. I was massaging her for what seemed like an eternity. My hands and knuckles were getting weaker and weaker... but she kept making moaning sounds of pain, so I really couldn't stop. What worried me the most was she was all telling me where our insurance information was, information about the billment of the house... she was talking in a way as if she was going to die.

I then rushed downstairs to get her a glass of water and some aspirin, rushed back up, gave it to her and started massaging her some more. After a long while, she told me that the pain was starting to go away.... but just seeing her in that much pain.... I almost cried. My eyes were getting teary while I was massaging her arm, hoping she wouldn't die.

She's sleeping now. She looks so peaceful lying there on the bed. I want to hug her, but I don't want to wake her up.

She told me about our deep financial problems. She was really mad at my brother for keeping his personal heater in his room for the entire two weeks, leaving his computer, t.v., vcr, DVD player on almost 24/7 [all at the same time] and for many other reasons. She was talking about moving into a smaller place... either a one bedroom apartment, or a mobile home. Ugh. My life just keeps getting worse....

Plus, did I tell you that my grandmother is still currently in the hospital after being there ever since New Years Eve? I found out the night that Christina slept over. She was talking to Mike and was on the Computer when I found out, and I was lying down on the bed. After talking to my mom, I told her what happened and I started crying. Do you know what she did? She kept talking to her damn boyfriend. I hadn't cried like that in such a long time, especially after taking so many painkillers, I think it made me even more emotional.

I hate my life.

Anyone who asks why is fucking stupid. Everyday creates a new problem.. emotionally... physically... economically... socially. It just sucks. It fucking sucks. I know my life is a lot better than the ones that live in Afghanistan, or some barely thriving cities like Ethiopia or the suburbs of India. And it makes me want to cry over my dramatism. I feel sorry for myself too much. I hate being like this. I hate being myself. I hate being so overly emotional and having to hide it, yet I still know of my feelings and pain... and then I think of those less fortunate than I am and I start to hate myself more for feeling so bad for my own problems. The concept of life can in fact, be beautiful but yet so confusing and painful at the same time.

I want to get free.

KoreanGenius12: im tired
I am NOT pangit: blagh you don't even know how i feel right now
I am NOT pangit: like..
I am NOT pangit: i THINK i have like some gum disease
I am NOT pangit: from my tooth
I am NOT pangit: it's all swollen
KoreanGenius12: gingivitus?
I am NOT pangit: it HELLA hurts
I am NOT pangit: maybe..
I am NOT pangit: i derno
I am NOT pangit: but DAMN it hurts
I am NOT pangit: and my teeth hurt too
I am NOT pangit: and my head
KoreanGenius12: is it puffy?
I am NOT pangit: and my stomach earlier
I am NOT pangit: yeah!!
KoreanGenius12: on certain teeth?
I am NOT pangit: yup
KoreanGenius12: i've had that
I am NOT pangit: do you know how to get rid of it?
KoreanGenius12: but liek i was brave enough to pop them
KoreanGenius12: and they dissapeared
KoreanGenius12: but like.... that kinda hurts
I am NOT pangit: ewwwwww
I am NOT pangit: dude
I am NOT pangit: ewwwwww
I am NOT pangit: ewwwww
KoreanGenius12: it was all bloody and puss
I am NOT pangit: i have to POP them?
I am NOT pangit: OMG
I am NOT pangit: asdfklasdfkahsfd
KoreanGenius12: no
I am NOT pangit: ewwww
I am NOT pangit: omg
KoreanGenius12: i don't know
I am NOT pangit: that's like
I am NOT pangit: blahhhh
KoreanGenius12: that's just what i did
I am NOT pangit: *cry*
KoreanGenius12: lol
KoreanGenius12: have you gone to the dentist?
I am NOT pangit: I WAS supposed to go this week
I am NOT pangit: but my MOM decided to stay in vegas LONGER
I am NOT pangit: blagh
I am NOT pangit: omg i don't want to pop them
I am NOT pangit: omg omg omg omg omg

Cryyyyyyy it's hurting again. ;____________;